Archive 21

This is a collection of observations about the Khans from across NukeLanta.

BOSCOE
“F**k the Khans. Those backstabbing f**ks got me as I was trying to go in but they couldn’t figure out how to get in.” says the known Sons of Liberty affiliate. This sentiment reflects a commonality across the citizens who’ve run into the Khans over time.

ROADKILL
“They pay well.” says the unaffiliated wastelander.

MARCUS MADDE
“As long as they don’t become bad for business [they aren’t so bad].” says the arms dealer.

LENNY RADITZ
“Ehh never anything serious, they know better.” says everyone’s favorite celebrity ghoul.

BRYAN HENRICOST
“They are vile degenerate products of this broken land, alas some allies must be made in the quest for the grail and Eden. My father would kill me if he found out....wait this isn’t on record is it?!” said the crusader.

IN THEIR OWN WORDS
“After Hoover dam and the Khan’s exodus up North we decided to start moving out East. Over time we started finding the others & forming our own roving gang. Separated from my father’s vast Khanate in Wyoming I decided to take up the roll of Papa Kahn.

So then we fixed up an old RV & started making our way out east.

When we came to this place we had nothing & Prez took us in & helped us out. Hell, he entrusted the bar to us & I have done my best to keep it as shitty as when he left!” says Papa Khan, leader of the gang.

CLOSING THOUGHTS
Love them or hate them, the Khans are here to stay. It might be best we learn to get along with them. Just don’t be surprised when you find some kid walking around with a canister of Jet.

Brother Snuffy and Abbot Murphy on the Road to Prague.

“And Yea! shall the Word of Dibs lay low the mighty and the unprepared! Are ye ready? Do ye accept freely the Gosp... BOOM!”

ting
ting
...ting
CLATTER

sigh “...Brother Snuffy?”

“Yes, Abbot?”

“Help me up, Brother Snuffy, I’m getting old.”

“Yessir, Abbot Murphy...”

“Now. Brother Snuffy, why did you administer the Smiting Word of Dibs?”

beams “They was repressin’ us, sor!”

sigh “Brother Snuffy, look over there, next to the shattered aircar and beyond the smoldering ribcage - what do you see?”

“Um, a skull?...a white sheet...? Oh...”

“That’s right, Brother Snuffy, a white sheet - they were surrendering. When they have the white sheet out, we’re prosthelytizing; when we have the white sheet out they’re repressing us, understand?”

“Pros-, prosth-, prosth-...? You was convertin’ ‘em t’ th’ Gospel of Dibs?

“Yes. They,”the Abbot points,”had surrendered and were receiving the Gospel. That made them Professed Of the Word, which makes it a sin to administer the Smiting Word Of Revered Dibs.”

“Oh. Will th’ Order be castin’ me out?”

“No, no - this was your first offense. Clean up this mess, forty-two Hail >Marties<, and two weeks on KP.”

“Yes, Abbot! Roight away, sor!”

Investigations continue into the tremors being felt around Nukelanta. Eyewitness reports have varied widely.

“And right as he was about to pull the trigger, the whole world started shaking, and I yanked out his catheter!” says one local medic, who praises the recent tremors for saving his life from a violent patient. “Ever since then, I kiss the earth before I go to bed. These tremors are a blessing in these glow-in-the-dark times.”

While some have shared their affection for the tremors, others have a little more trepidation, and just want to know the truth. “Rumors are rumors and I ain’t felt nothin’. Belle keeps saying the end of days is near and we are getting swallowed up. Vix thinks both are idiots. Belle overthinks everything and mama is too dumb. Vix is paying close attention. She wants to know what is going on. No rumors, just tell her straight. Her business is gonna suffer if people leave. She is willing to pay caps for concrete proof of what it is.” Says the different personalities of the beloved proprietor of Vixxen’s.

The mystery of the tremors has only grown since the alleged opening of Vault 33, as they have increased in both frequency and force.

Somehow, the recent opening of Vault 33 and the tremors seem connected, even the mentions of Project Lazarus seem to have some crossover with the quakes.

The more investigating we do, the deeper the hole seems to go, and it’s unclear if we will find the answers anytime soon. That said, if anyone has information pertaining to the quakes, Vault 33, Project Lazarus, or the recent mentions of a person named “Old Bob” please come by the casino at Archive 21 and let your dealer know. You will be rewarded, provided that your information proves to be true.

See, I go by Vix, or Mama Schitzen, or Belle... depends what kinda day i am having. A few years ago, my crew and I were hungry and wandering the wasteland when we happened upon bartertown. Bobby Doug was serving some kind of sausage... whethere brahmin or radroach he never did tell. I saw this little run down place, deserted, and decided we needed to feed the people of bartertown properly or Bobby Doug heck knows what he would feed them in the future. We stalked... scouted, yeah scouted, the place for a few days and then just cleaned it up and set up shop. it was just me and Rednek and a hot plate at first. From there we hijacked, swindled, cheated... sorry, we traded, bought, and fixed up a bunch of gear and grew it into what you see today. My empire. Where anyone is welcome to come and eat, chat, trade, and otherwise make friends.

And no, we don’t put real ghouls in the burgers. That’s my story and I am sticking to it!

When we yell at ya it’s cuz we llike yta... or at least tolerate ya. This week we are bringin back the rednek burger and the sandwich that almost killed me. I hope lots of people stop by and grab a bite.

Vixxen, In Her Own Words